Linkinparkfan9799 Interviews: Kaname and Zero
by linkinparkfan9799
Summary: Who: Kaname and Zero/What: Crack-influenced Interview/When: Modern day duh /Where: Cross Academy/Why: For your humor needs


**Insert babble here****.**

**Interviewer: xDemonChickx and Linkinparkfan9799**

**Interviewee(s): Kaname Kuran and Zero Kiryuu**

**My Boss: Mrs. Oswaldes**

**Thanks to: xDemonChickx**

Demon is hopping like she needs to go to the bathroom. "Ooh~ I can't wait to get to Cross~"

I sigh and point to the towering gates. "It's right there-"

"Oh."

I gasp, stars for eyes. "ZERO IT'S YOU!"

He grunts as I tackle him, hugging him tightly. "Oh if _I _can't hug my Sebastian-goodness, YOU CAN'T HUG THE VAMP-VAMPY HUNTER!"

She tugs me off and I scratch at her face. After what feels like hours away from my hunk of deliciousness (Zero), I regain my dignity. "Yeah, uh, sorry," I blush.

He sighs and stands up, having been knocked down due to your favorite author (tee-he). "Whatever. Are you here for Headmaster Cross?"

"No~" Demon rocks on the soles of her shoes. "We are here for…" she looks down at the list I previously gave her this morning, "Kaname Kuran and Zero Kiryuu."

"Well, I'm Zero as your friend knows," he rolls his eyes. I blush. "Kuran is-"

"Oh, you must be Miss Oddball." The three of us turn to Kaname Kuran in the pale flesh. "Sorry, but can we rush this a tad bit? Yuki's home alone so…"

"Stupid Kuran," Zero mutters.

As the sexy vampire hunter stomps past the sexy (oh admit it, he is) Pureblood, Demon and I follow. "WHEN DO I SEE MY SEBBY-KOI?" Demon whines.

I sigh and look at the list before me. "After this, it's the third."

"I CAN-"

"Wait, yes, I know," I cover her mouth. "Now _**no**__ misbehaving_! Kaname is a Pureblood, so don't think he won't blow us to bits."

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, where's my Sebby?" I hand her a plushie of her 'Sebby'. "Yay~Me behave~" she sparkles, hearts choking her head (though I don't think she minds).

I shake my head slowly and we make our way into the school.

FML

Both sexy males sit in separate sides of the empty classroom. Nosy Day Class bitches eavesdrop outside the room, though I pretend to ignore them. Demon, for one, doesn't and thoroughly shows her displeasure by beating them constantly with her Sebastian plushie, also doing her best to keep it in one piece. I dig through my messenger's bag and drag out the proper questions (having burned the rest). "Okay, one goes to Kan-"

"Why are you such a pedo-ish creep?" Demon jumps on him, shaking his shoulders like a mad man.

"WHAT THE-"-I push a Staples button-"-ARE YOU-"

"You creepy. You marry own sister," Demon pokes his nose while glaring.

"She's not _actually _my sister, you know that right?"

"So he's a creep because he's not really a creep…" I scribble. "Makes sense."

Demon gets off and scowls, pointing at me. "No it's not."

"I'll explain….never. Now, anything _else _to get out of the way before I slaughter you?"

Zero chuckles a little. She smirks (of crap I'm dying tonight). "Yes. Zero? Why do you eat the Blood Tablets if you know they make you all sicky?"

"It's the best thing other than drinking from an actual human," he shrugs indifferently.

My eyes are replaced with stars and hearts. "So hot~~"

"And do you like Linkin-chan?" Demon giggles mischievously.

I freeze, that little spike appearing on my head. "You little…"

"Eh, not bad."

"AW I LOVE YOU TO ZERO-KUN!" I tackle him, kissing his face.

"NO! I DIDN'T-MMM!"

FYL

"I HAVE NO REGRETS~~~" I throw my fist into the air.

Kaname helps Zero get his shirt back on, seeing he's frozen with somewhat shock or pleasure (oh let me have my fantasies!). Demon is grumbling about how she wasn't allowed to de-shirt Sebastian. So I reassure her she can next time as long as the pants don't come off completely as well. We return to the seats and I count the questions left: seven. "Okay," Demon pats my head.

"Now, Zero~" I sway gently. "Are you insane~"

"No," he answers, annoyed.

"Kaname, are you~"

"No," he answers, chuckling.

I scratch both off (thank Mrs. Oswaldes for those). "Okie dokie~We have five left seeing my boss is a total bitch and can't ask normal or important questions~" My face hardens, much to both males' surprises. Demon just fends off the hoard. "Okay, six goes to Kaname. How do you feel about Headmaster Cross's philosophy?"

"I agree with it and hope it is set into place," he smiles.

I just write 'yes, and I'm super complicated'. "Zero, same question."

"It's a wolf in a heard of sheep that's what it is!" he growls. "Nothing more than a sheer disaster waiting to happen!"

I write 'I'm emotionally disturbed, so help me' (it's true…). Eight, Nine, and Ten are thankfully all different, so I settle down a little. "Eight goes to the first one who answers. Couldn't Blood Tablets be replaced with animal blood?"

"There aren't that many animals in the area," Kaname points out. "And we can't go off every single day."

"Nine-Do you honestly need blood _every __**single DAY?**_"

"No," Zero answers. "They're just pigs."

"Says the fcker who scarfs down his Blood Tablets like a starving little child!"

Zero stands. "You wanna fight Kuran?"

"PEACE!" Demon waves a decapitated Santa toy (probably one of her customers like Yuki or Zylphia…). Once they sit down after ten wasted minutes of constant blinking, she turns to me with the toy behind her back. "Continue~"

I blink and turn uncomfortably to the door filled to the top frame with unconscious fan girls. One got as far as taking a Sebastian plushie leg with her. I gulp and turn back slowly. The last question on the list…"Ten, on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate Linkinparkfan9799 Interviews?"

They raise their brows. "Uh…three."

I sulk. "Shit…"

"Don't worry!" Demon pats my back. "I like them!"

"That's because you make out with Sebastian every time we see him…"

"So?"

My phone rings. "Yeah?" I answer it gloomily.

"Uh…Linkin…" I hear Jennifer on the other end.

I also hear ambulance sirens. "What. Did. You. Do."

"Easy, run over your boss."

I hang up and cheer. "FRENCH ME HUNTER!" I tackle Zero to the ground, sticking my tongue anywhere in that mouth of his (^^).

Eventually Demon fights me off and we leave, her grumbling about 'I better get another Black Butler job before' she kills me. I smile and hug my ribs. "Again~No regrets~"

**Review~**

**Remember, these are just for a laugh or for knowing there are worse stories out there (XD).**

**Anime's I know:**

**One-Vampire Knight**

**Two-Rosario+Vampire**

**Three-Inuyasha**

**Four-Black Butler**

**Five-Code Geass**

**Six-Ouran Highschool Host Club**

**Seven-Hetalia**

**Eight-Elfen Lied**

**Nine-Shugo Chara**

**Ten-Death Note**

**Review~**


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